Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Anything can be justified.

My husband decided to borrow money from his mother to buy TWO NEW snowmobiles. One for him, and one for our first son Connor. It was mainly because theirs both had "issues" last year and it would be a much better experience for them if this year they had new ones. So, since Dave's s mother seemed to have $15K lying around, he decided to use it. Now, not for nothing, but there are MANY things in the house that need some attention, that even a portion of that $15K could have been used for (fixing garage doors, painting, new carpet, etc). But, as usual, it wasn't hard for Dave to justify using the money for the new snowmobiles instead of anything else. One thing to remember though, I have 2 sons. And only 1 has gotten a new $8K snowmobile gift. If I were my other son (whose birthday is coming up in October) I would have asked where my $7K gift is. After all, isn't that only fair? One kid got one, shouldn't the other? Good thing my #2 son is more like me and only asked for a new snowboard for his birthday! But you get the point.

And then there is the working around the house thing. Last Saturday, since I had to be in the announcers booth for the Gaels home football games from 8:30-3pm I had asked my men to do one job each. Dave needed to clean the hottub (it was way overdue)  and the kids needed to clean their rooms. I, thank god, had a night out ( for once).

As I returned home that night, I was hit once again with a dirty kitchen, laundry on the bathroom floor, and SURPRISE SURPRISE; hottub NOT cleaned (he took a nap instead) and neither of the kids rooms cleaned. Seemed that it was a very lazy saturday night at my house ( Oh, and don't forget they ordered out instead of cooking too). I asked why they didn't do what I had asked, I got the usual...We forgot....So, the kids had to clean their rooms sunday, but Dave had tickets to a NASCAR race, so he was up and out of the house by 6am.  And since we wasn't going to be home til after dark, cleaning the hottub had just been added to my list of things to do.

I have to wonder sometimes how men would survive only living with other men. They certainly would be broke (paying for ordering out all the time) and I can't imagine what condition their living arrangements would be in. Laundry certainly wouldn't get done, nor would any type of home improvement. But I bet they would all have really nice cars, and lots of fun mechanical toys to use! No wonder why so many younger men go back to live with their mothers!

I keep forgetting that everything men do is always about them. Any attempt made to look like or seem like its not is really just an illusion. I should know better after all this time.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

When the cats away. Its a dog fight when she gets back.

In my line of work I have to travel. Not to the great exotic places. No, I get to go to places like Effingham Ill, Eudora KS, Norman, OK. You get the picture. And, while I am away my boys seem to not only forget that they live inside, but they also forget many other things. Like how to clean up, put things away, do laundry (although you know from my other post that laundry is not in the male DNA), or even grab food out of the fridge.

My husband has to cook in our house ( he gets home earlier) and does have many decent and quick items he can prepare. But, when I go away, it seems to be an open invitation to go out for dinner. Not just one night (which is ok occasionally) but every night I am gone. And its not just McDonalds or KFC. For three (or four of them if my mother in law goes too), it averages about $100 every time they go out. So, when I get home, I am faced with a defect of almost $300-400 for their nightly follies. iTs a great excuse when I am not home, since I am the one who lists what meals happen what days. It is even put up on a wipe board in our kitchen, so everyone knows what was bought, and what is expected to be used that week for food.

Not for nothing, but my grocery bill averages $200 each week, and it includes some pretty good meat items meant for dinner. So, when not used, they either have to be thrown away or frozen. A tremendous waste of food and of money.

Another amazing thing that happens when I am away is the amount of laundry, trash and clutter that accumulates in all areas of the house; bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen, living room. You name it, there is something in every room that doesn't belong there. I have pjs in the living room, soda cans in the bathroom, important school paperwork in the kitchen ( with stains on it), and of course the catch all room that has everything in it- the laundry room.

I'll walk in the house, through the garage, peek in the laundry room and literally have to stop and gasp at the condition of the room! It's unreal! Clothes out of the basket, on the floor, dryer door wide open (and the dryer stopped mid cycle). What used to be clean clothes in the washer, now smelly because they had sat too long wet, not moved to the dryer, muddy shoes on top of the clean clothes in the laundry basket, cat food cans on the laundry room sink ( instead of being thrown away in the garage 5 feet away), unfortunately the list could go on and on.

I would love to go on vacation or on a business trip, and be able to be happy to come home to a clean, uncluttered house, but that won't happen until I find a maid. And one that can not only clean the house, but put clothes away, and cut through the clutter (and that is a pipe dream).

Even though I have tried many times to strongly condemn these actions and suggest the right course of action, it always seems to fall on deaf ears (or selective listening as its known in the male species).

Friday, September 16, 2011

The obvious escapes them.

 I have yet to meet any man who can see the obvious. Lets list some examples: 1) The men in my family will walk out of the kitchen, after they have gotten a snack, lunch, drink, etc and leave things out, cabinets open, crumbs on the counter, and occasionally leave the oven on. 2) After taking a shower, there are still clothes on the bathroom floor, the towels are not hung back up, and all the essential "beauty" products are out on the sink ledge. 3) When going out anywhere, if they pass ANYTHING on the floor (mail, clothes, keys, etc) they don't think to pick it up, they just leave it there.

I just want to yell, "WHO DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO PICK THESE UP? Well..DUH, the answer is simple...ME.

It wouldn't be the first time I stoop to the all time low comment of "What would you do if I wasn't here". But, as you read in one of my other posts, their hearing seems to always be affected when I say something, and the comment goes in one ear and out the next-totally wasted.

Although, it is quite interesting that there are some things that never escape them...1) When a big baseball game or football game is on. 2) When snowmobile vacation plans (in February) need to be made. 3) When their cars need ANYTHING (new tires, new struts, a window fixed, etc) My car, however is out of luck... 4) Anytime NASCAR is in New England and tickets may be available, especially PIT Passes...5) When their birthdays are coming up, the "big" item that they want.

People wonder why I say I am going to sell my home and buy an RV when I retire. Well, isn't it obvious? No rooms to clean up after, and I can go anywhere and NO ONE can find me. Of course by then, I won't have any energy left to drive anywhere, and probably no money left for gas!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Laundry just isn't in a man's DNA.

 I have come to realize in my many years of having men in my household that doing laundry, carrying laundry downstairs, or even folding and putting away laundry is NOT in the male DNA.

I go away for a few days, and laundry piles up, even to the point of overflowing the hamper. I leave the dirty laundry in the basket at the top of the stairs so it can be brought downstairs, and it stays there until I ask someone to bring it down (they have to physically step around it to get to the garage or downstairs).  And, do you think if they bring it downstairs they can actually start a load? Hell no!. I ask for the clean basket to be brought upstairs, and it take an act of congress to decide who actually has to carry it upstairs. And folding it? Are you kidding me?

I fold both my sons laundry, but refuse to fold my husbands. So, his just stays on the bedroom floor unfolded, wrinkled and full of dog and cat hair til he wears it. Even though he has plenty of room in the drawers to put it away ( he claims he doesn't, but if the clothes were all folded and put away they would fit).

My sons do a little better ( but not much). They put away their folded laundry as one big pile into the dresser drawers. Of course the drawers don't close then, and every morning I still hear, "Mom, I don't have any socks to wear". I have boycotted matching socks (because it takes forever) so they need to put their socks together and put them away ( which they rarely do).

I think the laundry industry needs to reinvent the washer and the dryer. Make them more "men friendly". Maybe shape one like a NASCAR car, or a snowmobile, or a Four wheeler.  And, anyone that knows of a way to get men to wash, dry and fold laundry on a regular basis, let me know. So far, it hasn't worked for me.

Friday, September 9, 2011

In honor of 9/11

I am not doing a normal post today or tomorrow. Instead I ask everyone to be extra careful and aware this weekend, and to never forget what happened 10 years ago.

I wish everyone well.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Men's hearing deteriorates with age (or so they say)

My husband, who is in his 50's likes to constantantly tell me that he is deaf in his right ear. Hearing things like; you need to take out the garbage, did you mail that bill, did you feed the dog he tells me are sometimes difficult for him. He had me going for a short while , until I mentioned something about a vacation destination (on the phone with one of my friends) and he suddenly could hear every word. Or, if I say something under my breath about his lack of help, he can hear that too. It is NOT hearing loss, it is selective hearing. Every man I know has some version of it. In fact, some are known to hear something completely different than what youn said.

Let's go back in time and test my theory. Starting at birth, men's selective hearing gets its start. Their mother says no, they act as if she never said it, in fact they might even have thought she said yes. Grade school: how many times do you hear, "I didn't hear you say that.." or, "you never said I couldn't" Teen years, you might as well not talk at all, because they don't hear a word...Then marriage, the hearing gets even more selective, until, they claim it's hearing loss...

My way around this is to always sprinkle in some talking points you know they will hear so you can help them recall the conversation when they said you didn't say that, or if they can't remember the conversation ( which in my case happens a lot). For example, if it's something timely my husband needs to do (like fed the dog) I will mention some NASCAR event was on the news, so he heads toward the laptop in the dining room, and has to pass the dogs dish. Because you know, the longer the time passes, and he doesn't get the job dones, the less likely it is it will actually be done!

There are days I am not proud of my manipulations, but if it's the only way to get them to do it, then so be it.

And, unless he can really prove he has hearing loss, don't ever believe it.

The lack of peripheral vision

I was thinking last nigh about what I was going to write today in the blog. As I was thinking about it, my youngest son yelled from downstairs "Mom, where are my football pants and pads?. It was like a gift from heaven, so I am writing away... My son, 12, knows to put his football stuff back in the same place every time so that we can always find it. The odd time that it actually gets washed (practice pants only once a week, game pants after each game) the pants and pads ( that go in the pants) are somewhere very near the washer or the dryer in the laundry room if they are NOT in the football bag. So here's my point; Men would rather ask first than look in the few conspicuous places that their stuff may be. I don't really know what it is, maybe laziness, or just plain stupidity.  But it drives me nuts. Case in point; football pants and pads. If they are NOT in the football bag, and HAPPENED to be washed (ie; the end of the week) THEN the pants and pads are SOMEWHERE in the laundry room (one of the smallest rooms in the house). So how do I overcome going crazy and screaming back when I get these dumb questions? My response was..."You have 2 guesses and places to look to find them, if you don't, you go to practice naked" That seemed to do it..

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Men really are from Mars

It was a great book. "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". It was one of the first times that you could read clearly why men and women were so different.  I am going to speak in generalities here ( because of course there are exceptions to these) but my contention is that men and women are just not meant to cohabitate.  Why you ask? Its not really a mystery. There are literally hundreds of reasons. Here are a few; Men are singular species, women are more pack type animals. Men think of themselves, women think of the "pack". Men are not nurturers, woman are. Men think simply, women, much more complex. Men could go days without worrying, women cannot. Men are basic in their needs, women are most certainly not.

Over the course of the next few postngs, I will give you some examples of my own experiences that prove the points I listed above.

Feel free to add you own as well it can be a fun discussion