Monday, March 26, 2012

When Men are sick.

Men are such babies when they are sick. I found an "insightful" blog entry that I will share with you at the end of this blog, but let me tell you the difference between the rest of us being sick, and men being sick.

The rest of have colds- Men have bronchitis, pneumonia, whopping cough, pertussis, the black plague, etc

The rest of us have a sprain- Men have something broken.

The rest of us have heartburn-Men think they are having a  heart attack.

The rest of us have a cut-Men have something that may need stitches, require 10 band-aides and a tourniquet.

The rest us have a headache-Men have a brain tumor.

The rest of us have back pain-Men have a bulging disk, pinched nerves, arthritis, or something that would require a spinal tap.

The rest of us have a food poisoning- Men have a parasite in their intestines.

The rest of us have swollen feet, hands, etc- Men have a life threatening water blockage.

The rest of us have a bump on the head-Men have a concussion.

And for those of you who want to really want to know what to do when men are sick...Check out this blog entry...

Friday, March 16, 2012

Not all men are "Mr. Fix it"

I know now why older women date or marry younger men. It's because they believe the younger man can DO MORE. As well as be handy and a "Mr. Fix it" when they need it. After all, isn't that what all men are supposed to be?

Well, I am here to tell you, it's all a lie. Case in point; My husband, Dave. Although he was an auto mechanic for years, and he has thousands (and I mean thousands) of dollars of tools in the garage (in a nice big red craftsmen toolbox with drawers and wheels), it is obvious that it's all for show and he really has no business fixing anything. In fact, I tell people that he has the Midas touch in reverse when it comes to mechanical things or trying to fix things.
I have a few stories to tell.

The first one has to do with a boat: We bought a used boat ( a 16 foot Sea Ray) for the lake to use at the house up in Maine about 5 years back. The first year we had the boat all was well. Everything worked well, it ran well, and everyone was happy. Year two-Somehow or another, Dave FORGOT about a bunch of rocks ( that he had helped stake off many times) and ran right over them (with my son on the back being pulled on a tube) and put a BIG GAPING HOLE in the lower transom of the motor- $1500 to fix.Year three-There was a small hole somewhere in the inboard/outboard area, The boat was put in the water, but that night, the bilge pump did not get rid of all water and the boat SANK. While it was attached to the dock. top part of the boat still roped to the dock, backside of the boat underwater, straining the floating dock (almost took that too) and was sitting on the rocky bottom ( about 3 feet of water). Another $1000 to fix. I had to help him at least get the boat floating again so it could be floated and taken out of the water (which was another major project). Year four-Somehow or another the starter and the gear shift needed to be replaced. And, whatever was done to "winterize" the boat
(which Dave does) put water in the gas tank. Cough up another $500 or so.

And then, Dave,  has the nerve to ask....Can we get a NEW boat? Are you kidding me? Look what you did to a used one, can you imagine what these issues would cost on a new boat? Do I look like I am crazy?

Then there was the oil change gone bad on my Saab. I loved my Saab (I just recently gave it up for a BMW 3 series) It was a 2004 9-3. It had 189,000 miles when I gave it up last November. One year, Dave decided that he was going to try to save money and change the oil in my car. That time he changed my oil, he bent something in engine, causing a major leak. I brought it to the dealer, and $200 later, it was fixed. They asked me who did my oil change. I didn't have the nerve to tell them it was my husband. Needless to say, I didn't let him change the oil again. Nor is he allowed to touch the BMW.

There are also stories equally humorous (not really) about 2 riding lawn mowers, a weed whacker, a leaf blower, and just recently the electric garage door opener. All somehow or another broken after being "fixed".

Trust me ladies, not all men are handy with mechanical things or tools. If you have one like mine, get ready to do home improvement ( or anything fix it for that matter) by yourself. In the long run, it will save you aggravation and money.